Joan in dilemma, the counselor responds

frustrated black woman

By:[email protected]

Previously, we met Joan who got pregnant in S.6 and run off to her grandmother to have the baby. 8 years later, her daughter doesn’t believe Joan is the mother and doesn’t want to come to Kampala to stay with her.

Here is how the Counselor advises..

Joan, I am sorry that you’re feeling rejected and confused but no one is to blame because there was poor attachment between both of you. Attachment is the emotionally meaningful relationship experienced as babies and their mothers and other caregivers develop for each other. Successful bonding determines the child’s independence, confidence, trust, flexibility & positive growth through infancy. Bonding can best be triggered through breast feeding and the first 5 years of life; that’s why babies who are separated from their mothers develop non caring characteristics.

I think your child bonded more with your grandparents than you because you were separated at a tender stage which brought about emotional destabilization to the child hence the lack of trust in you as a mother.

Joan you need to be strong, give your child sometime because now she is more attached to your grandmother because she was with her at that tender age and don’t blame her. Be friendly to the child. Create a good parent-child communication and buy her gifts sometime. With time she will accept you as her mother.

Wishing you the best



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